Chance

The weight of one word, only six short letters long.  The power it holds over me, the fear it's been able to incite, holding me back from moving on.  Wishing for the will to take it, daring failure, embracing success.

I don't know of one significant event that urged me to take the leap.  Perhaps fear itself- that same fear that's held me back for years that prompted me to move on.  The fear of not wanting to wait for a future that would continue to be unknown and the anticipation of having control over my own fate- rather than leaving it to someone else; perhaps incentive enough.

Losing myself for so many years; lost but not forgotten.  The memories of care free days, never void of concern.  Daring, pushing limits, living; replaced by surviving, conforming, losing sight. 

And then one day, the gray was gone.  The clouds made a clearing and the light, so bright with hope, promise and confidence blanketed me with courage. 

The desire to set an example of all the qualities I was led to believe held esteem, power, affluence; no longer priorities.  Inspiration, kindness, love, creativity, passion, honor re-emerged; there all along.  The fire dimmed, a spark waiting to surface, waiting for me to be ready. 

I've been waiting for so long to become someone I was all along.  I needed to learn who I didn't want to be in order to know who I am.  I let fear hold me back. My drive wasn't directed by the voices within-screaming for freedom, holding on to hope.  Waiting to remember who I could be.

Waiting to take a CHANCE.